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firing squads
line me up in thier sights
my hands dead
my heart dead
silence
adagio of rocks
the world ablaze
but they all say
this is the easiest way
so i close my eyes
"The Closest Thing to winning the lottery, but millions can't buy enough time to fall in love all over again"
I've convinced myself
more than enough times-
lifes strongest convictions
are always on the decline.
we can't make it through another
tragic demise.
The past may be history
missing in action
the yesterdays are still news to me.
I'm falling overboard
quickly swallowing
the sea
nauseating
begins to devour me.
Maybe it's the sad infinite beauty
in those green eyes?
i could be way off.
something i cant ever find,
after three black eyed dog years
and still her stare
gives me butterflies
Just running up and down my spine
Whenever I'm around you
My smile beings to shine.
The love I feel for you
is quite hard for anyone to find.
You're the one that I want to
wake up next to,
and just give us
Your beautiful Green eyes.
Please never, ever leave me.
Just stay right here,
Always by my side.
Your beauty radiates
just like the sun.
When I'm around you,
I tend to lose my breath.
There's no doubt
that you're the one.
Your great smile makes me feel alive.
Your flawless personality,
combined with your godly looks,
makes you more than perfect.
Please never, ever leave me.
Just stay right here,
Always by my side.
- Location:my plastic bed
- Mood:
depressed
I'm not the one that you want, I'll only let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself
I think it's every time I walk into a room
a silence so sudden that I seem to hear it
Smiles turn to frowns
Contact saying that you are the rain on their parade.
And how long could you hang on to a word?
Tell me, how long could you hang on to a word?
she said...
'Or maybe it's all eyes on him
in love with ego and intention
the eyes that are just begging me for more.
This is gone and I can see it
your head is full of words,
full of words that don't mean anything.
And how long could you hang on to a word?
Tell me, how long could you hang on to a word?
I'm not the one that you want, I'll always let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself'
'
(If that's how you feel, then what's there to do?
I'll keep this feeling in my heart
but when you look in my eyes, you will know the truth.)
- Location:my head
- Mood:
blank - Music:Tom Waits-Dead
for the past month i've been through more up's & downs than the stock market. but to truely be happy i must be uncomfortably sad, but there is light at the end of that dark tunnel i call the novel that currently is my life. thank you, anyone who really cares about how im doing, rather it was a random phone call, or just taking one second to ask if i were ok. as long as their are people out there that remember my name and my existance, i think i can at least come out at the end alive.
post script: i got my tattoo, nothing too great, but it makes me feel a little more ok about myself as well as those of which we lost and loved.
- Music:chiodos
a blur, thats all i can describe my current situation, i look forward to things that i know will never happen, hope has only let me down.
time to cry myself to a dreamless sleep.
night?
im praying to get hit by a semi on my way to work tomorrow, please lord do me this one favour.
You can tell,
By the way I move and do my hair,
Do you think that it's me?
Or it's not me?
I don't even care.
I'm alive, i don't smell
I'm the cleanest I have ever been.
I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry.
Do I drink?
Do I date?
I've got perfect placements.
all my ink
Satisfied, in your eyes.
I'm the biggest fan I've got right now.
I made sure I looked how I wanted to look.
The people around me,
The people surround me.
i can not be happy no matter how hard i try even if i lead people to believe i am,
om sorry cold dark world.
please quot me on the price of a healthy relationship,
the end
im sorry all
and to all a good night.
lighter note; we have our fisrt show/gig on november 10th so come see Frouline
Why must you guys constantly try to get to know me when your all jusy going to rip me apart as it is. back off and let me loath in peace.My head hurts and there is a terrbile pain in my stomache, stop aking me why im not smiling and flatter someone else, not one of you guys has the capeability of helping me, leave that for someone who cares.
untill next time ol' journal
-James v Bird
xo
today wasnt shitty
