I wish i could have seen thier faces when they heard the news

Murdurers out of tune,and sweet revenge grows harsh

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 07:57:10 GMT

falling through the sky
firing squads
line me up in thier sights
my hands dead
my heart dead
silence
adagio of rocks
the world ablaze
but they all say
this is the easiest way
so i close my eyes

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 08:49:45 GMT

"The Closest Thing to winning the lottery, but millions can't buy enough time to fall in love all over again"

I've convinced myself
more than enough times-
lifes strongest convictions
are always on the decline.
we can't make it through another
tragic demise.
The past may be history
missing in action
the yesterdays are still news to me.
I'm falling overboard
quickly swallowing
the sea
nauseating
begins to devour me.
Maybe it's the sad infinite beauty
in those green eyes?
i could be way off.
something i cant ever find,
after three black eyed dog years
and still her stare
gives me butterflies

if i cut my hair, will Hawiii sink?

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 07:56:58 GMT

This happiness surpasses me.
Just running up and down my spine
Whenever I'm around you
My smile beings to shine.

The love I feel for you
is quite hard for anyone to find.
You're the one that I want to
wake up next to,
and just give us
Your beautiful Green eyes.

Please never, ever leave me.
Just stay right here,
Always by my side.

Your beauty radiates
just like the sun.
When I'm around you,
I tend to lose my breath.
There's no doubt
that you're the one.
Your great smile makes me feel alive.
Your flawless personality,
combined with your godly looks,
makes you more than perfect.

Please never, ever leave me.
Just stay right here,
Always by my side.

Intensity in Ten Cities

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 22:50:43 GMT

I'm not the one that you want, I'll only let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself

I think it's every time I walk into a room
a silence so sudden that I seem to hear it
Smiles turn to frowns
Contact saying that you are the rain on their parade.

And how long could you hang on to a word?
Tell me, how long could you hang on to a word?

she said...

'Or maybe it's all eyes on him
in love with ego and intention
the eyes that are just begging me for more.
This is gone and I can see it
your head is full of words,
full of words that don't mean anything.

And how long could you hang on to a word?
Tell me, how long could you hang on to a word?

I'm not the one that you want, I'll always let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself'
'
(If that's how you feel, then what's there to do?
I'll keep this feeling in my heart
but when you look in my eyes, you will know the truth.)

never met a wise man, if so it was a women

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 07:39:51 GMT

for the past month i've been through more up's & downs than the stock market. but to truely be happy i must be uncomfortably sad, but there is light at the end of that dark tunnel i call the novel that currently is my life. thank you, anyone who really cares about how im doing, rather it was a random phone call, or just taking one second to ask if i were ok. as long as their are people out there that remember my name and my existance, i think i can at least come out at the end alive.

post script: i got my tattoo, nothing too great, but it makes me feel a little more ok about myself as well as those of which we lost and loved.

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 06:59:30 GMT

a blur, thats all i can describe my current situation, i look forward to things that i know will never happen, hope has only let me down.
time to cry myself to a dreamless sleep.

night?

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 06:34:46 GMT

who the fuck even reads this?

im praying to get hit by a semi on my way to work tomorrow, please lord do me this one favour.

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 08:46:36 GMT

im feel so fucking lost, i;ve movwd to stockton and irs sucks knowing you hate a town but there are maybe one or two reasons to go back because they are worth everything to me.. im so dead right now, i need a hand to hold and a bed to share, i miss listening to music with someone who likes the artist as much as myself, i miss the red bridge and almond park trips, when wed jusy yake pictures and draw withoit a care in the world. dear wotld please grant me to a second chance at living, i promise it will be glorious, just beleive please.

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 06:42:37 GMT

Look at me.
You can tell,
By the way I move and do my hair,
Do you think that it's me?
Or it's not me?
I don't even care.
I'm alive, i don't smell
I'm the cleanest I have ever been.

I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry.

Do I drink?
Do I date?
I've got perfect placements.
all my ink
Satisfied, in your eyes.
I'm the biggest fan I've got right now.
I made sure I looked how I wanted to look.
The people around me,
The people surround me.

i can not be happy no matter how hard i try even if i lead people to believe i am,
om sorry cold dark world.
please quot me on the price of a healthy relationship,

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 01:19:58 GMT

Lastnight showed some hope and hope is all i need to make it through this life, thanks for a great time and for being there when i needed you most.

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 19:06:39 GMT

summer being only a few bats of an eyelash away, i have finally been able to look out of my window and see no rain. if today were a show and tell, i'd simply bring only myself and a new smile that i wear like a badge of honor proudly on my face,. im not relgious but if there is a god he saved my life,. the best things in life are really free i have no money and spent thousands trying be happy, all i have to show is scars and near tragedy. when she said she wished she could hate me, i knew then, pain was only a myth and love can cure everything.im here and wont stop untill i keep my promise and start our own family, fight with our love not a fist. we may never change the world but were all that we need

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 09:15:09 GMT

i will not live untill 2008, its probably better thst way.

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 16:48:04 GMT

well, today is a new day, i didnt have money for chris yells birthday yesterday but i made him a hemp braclet and he said it was his best gift which made my night. today at 7 am i hand an interveiw with Ups, and after my background check hopefully they hire me. please hire jj, it will save his life.

the end

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 03:22:17 GMT

well things are falling apart, and its all my fault

im sorry all
and to all a good night.

lighter note; we have our fisrt show/gig on november 10th so come see Frouline

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 01:55:00 GMT

im being put on metadone on thursday to help with my addiction and / reduction of it. thanks for the help and im sorry for injecting all of my pay checks into my arm. im sorry iv'e let everyone down but i plan to get better and visit you all with hugs and kissis at bay

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 01:02:08 GMT

Dear Employees;

Why must you guys constantly try to get to know me when your all jusy going to rip me apart as it is. back off and let me loath in peace.My head hurts and there is a terrbile pain in my stomache, stop aking me why im not smiling and flatter someone else, not one of you guys has the capeability of helping me, leave that for someone who cares.

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 00:54:27 GMT

http://www.wokeupwaytoolate.com/

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 01:27:25 GMT

I've been an emotional whiplash this past week, but today i feel substantially better. Fourth of July was no better than any other day but at least we stayed inside and kept cool, It gets so hot in my truck that it actually melted a cassette tape i had on my dash, but it looks way cooler now anyway. Band pracitces are not frequent enough and i really wished we played tons more.my brother is falling into the hole of substance abuse in which i previously inhebitated and i wish i could tell him something without feeling like a hypocrit. i love being able to boss people around at work, i know it sounds devious but it brings me much joy and they're all idiots anyway.

untill next time ol' journal

-James v Bird

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 20:45:50 GMT

sorry Al for being so jerky this mourning, i slept terribly last night

xo

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 06:31:39 GMT

today wasnt shitty

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 11:22:53 GMT

i was already fixing up to end everything
untill you can back for me.
this may have been rock bottom
now im ready for honest changing.
your a teamate i'd never consider trading.

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 00:00:48 GMT

i got called an emo hippie today at work

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 00:43:40 GMT

Im SOrry.

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 08:00:22 GMT

I have no idea what to do with myself,emotionally finnacially and literally. I feel like the biggest baby, no matter how har someone tries to please me, i am never happy and i dont know why. i dont have my own identity, i dont know how i obtained all the information i hold in my brian, but i know it must have been for all the wrong reasons, i wish i could revert back to my childhood, though i didnt have much at least i had my innocence. i dont want to know what it feels like to be high, or how it feels to make somebody cry, there are too many people that i have convinced myself are people i dont want to asscioate with, growing up, all anyone wanted was to be cool, do the things everyone else was doing, i wish i were still the 17 year boy whom had never kissed a girl, or has ever had his heart broken. very very few of the tough decisions that i have made, have been for my own good, people always wonder what it is like when you die, where do you go? i always wonder what its like to live and breath like a normal person. the drugs cant even hide reality from me anymore, movies dont interest me the way they used, every story line just seems way to fake and fabricated. i miss the people i never had to chance to meet. i base my actions on songs that make me dream, and reinact stories i have read, where the protaganist could possibly be me, if i just listend to all those people that sad, what your doing is bad.how can anyone truelly be happy? my journals are filled with meaningless drabble about an honest me that will never make print..

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 07:26:04 GMT

Somehow, everyday is the worst day of my life..

if it wernt for some people and somethings, i would have a reason to acutally feel this bad